So, I haven't updated here in centuries.  Sorry, LJ readers.  My life has been pretty hectic, to say the least.  This past summer, my stepsister had come to live with us -- this, of course, did not last long, as she decided that it would be a bright idea to stir shit up in our household.  She and my stepdad ended up moving out.

School-wise, I'm all right.  I dropped one class, because the stress of four classes, plus all the stress at home, got to be too much.  I'm currently going through midterms, though, and took one for my World Theatre class yesterday -- I think I did well?  Ha, we'll see.  Tomorrow is my Journalism as Lit midterm, and I haven't even started on my take home essay.  FML.

On the bright side, I have a job now, 3 days a week, at this hardware store.  I do their catalogue.  It's not too bad, I get paid 260 bucks every week.  YEAH BB.  At least now i can afford to actually buy my halloween costume this year, which is Wendla from Spring Awakening.  Aaaand some new makeups, maybe? Dunno yet.





This is a really crappy update.  I'm so sorry, I'll come back with a better one, I promise.

So I haven't been here in a while.  I don't know what it is...avoidance, maybe?  But avoiding what, exactly...life?

I'm in my pajamas and my face is drooping with the make-up I'd applied yesterday for Luiza's Graduation blow-out at Continental Bar.  I ended up not going -- left my umbrella at Nowhere Bar the night before (for Kim's own Grad night), and didn't want to get caught in the rain.  Got caught in the rain, anyway, but a different kind of rain.

I've been thinking a lot lately about him.  I think it's because of everyone graduating and I'm wondering if this whatever friendship we have will continue.  He slightly mentioned off-hand the day I was working on my Internet & Society paper that he'd wanted to see Waiting for Godot, and I'd told him how I'd heard good things about it and that I wanted to see it too. 

"Maybe we should go see it together," he mumbled awkwardly, not looking at me, just continuing to click away at the computer behind me. 

"Yeah," is all I could muster, uttering out in my usual quiet way.  In my mind, I thought to myself that this might not happen.

Since then, I've been hoping that this exchange probably meant that in some way he wants to continue this friendship, as well.  I'd always thought  that my awkwardness on the previous outing to see 1984 with him back in March had probably clinched the fact that this "Being Friends" thing wouldn't work;  that stiff, awkward hug goodbye at the end was definitely evident of that.  But, I guess not?  In that sense, I'm excited at the prospect of seeing what being friends with him is like.

At the same time, I've been feeling lonely.  Lonely for him?  I don't know.  Just lonely in general, I guess.  I want to be with someone, so bad.  But the thing is: I DON'T KNOW HOW TO BE WITH SOMEONE. 

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is the sad truth.  Epic fail, Life.  EPIC. FAIL.

Being middle school and high school, dealing with loneliness was easier.  Being an only child, it's like that, I guess.  But as I get older, the loneliness, too, gets older.  And quickly. 

I just hope the summer turns out to be as busy as I'd planned;  I'm looking at a number of theatre companies and festivals to intern and volunteer for;  they're all paying gigs, so hopefully I'll be getting some money soon.  I also have the second summer session to look forward to.  I'm taking an acting class with a supposedly hot teacher (or so the chili next to his name on Ratemyprofessor.com denotes) named Antonio Suarez.  Should make the summer even more muy caliente.

With a summer as busy as the one I have planned, hopefully I won't have time for loneliness, or sadness...just happiness.

Snagged from Gabe Bondoc's Tumblr:

( How to Install Love )

HOW DO I EVEN BEGIN TO DESCRIBE LAST NIGHT? 

To everyone at the Olivetree Review (including entheogeneric , gitanaverde , nicetoknowyou07 and karakurimi  -- the latter two unfortunately not with us last night, but with us in spirit all the same): I LOVE YOU ALL.   I'll come back for a proper update, just wanted to say that yesterday was full of silly craziness -- but in a good way, mind you.

Just finished Amelie a while ago.  LOVE LOVE LOVE that movie.




Cramps are a little better, especially since I had what was probably my 9853874398 bowl of spaghetti in the last 2 days, plus a Haagen Dazs ice cream bar, vanilla + almonds flavor.  COMFORT FOODZ FTW.


Tomorrow, when I wake up, it'll still be Spring Break.  I'm probably going to take the train out to Cortelyou Rd. and read at Voxpop.  I need to finish Miss Misery before I really get into the copy of Atonement that Irina D. lent me. 

Oh! Speaking of which, I refreshed my memory and saw the movie last night, and when I went to sleep later, I totes had a dream that I was Keira Knightley in that stunning green gown totally going at it with James McAvoy in that steamy lovemaking scene.  LOL I WAS RUNNING MAH FINGERS THROUGH DREAM!JAMES' HAIR, TOO. 


Sometimes my life is fail, but most of the time, it's just uber lolz.

I'm bored.  Well, not really.  Had a really interesting AIM conversation with karakurimi and her boyfriend about sex, haha.  It got interestingly candid, which is all I'm going to say over here.

Now, I'm just on a dance music kick, and looking at some of the pictures I took at the second session of photoshoots on Wednesday.  Here're some of my favorites:
( another sweet fluorescent night... )




Okay, so this is me just being a camera whore, so I'll stop now :)

I HATH UPDATED LE BLOG: http://theresidentartist.blogspot.com.






comments are love.

It's 2 am.  I'm stll in the outfit that I put on in an attempt to blow off some midterm steam and cheer myself up after hearing that two of my family members are in the hospital.

I'm feeling a little better, but now just  a bit lonely. =(